September 2000
Index
- How To Turn Shame Into Grace
- New Speakers Add Spiritual Depth to SacraMentums
- SacraMentors Can't Work!
- WANTED $50,000
- BOOK REVIEW
- Jubilee
- More Men and Women SacraMentors Become Trainers
How To Turn Shame Into Grace
By Fr. Bob Camuso
"We live in an atmosphere of shame. We are ashamed of everything that is real about us, ashamed of ourselves, of our relatives, of our incomes, of our accents, of our opinions, of our experience, just as we are ashamed of our- naked skins. "
George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman
Not long ago, over lunch with a Jewish friend, I began to discuss the subject of guilt. After I concluded that guilt appeared to weigh heavily on both Catholics and Jews, my friend had this to say: "Yes, we Jews know all about guilt. Our mothers raise us to feel guilty. But you Catholics appear to go a step further. You seem to be raised to feel shame."
Do Catholics experience shame more than people of other faith traditions? I'm not sure about that, but I do know that the experience of shame can do great damage to our spirit.
While shame can cause great suffering, guilt usually does less damage. Because guilt is the feeling that we have done something wrong. Shame is the feeling that our very self is wrong.
Original shame, or original sin, is the consequence of the disobedience of Adam and Eve. As a result of their sin, Adam and Eve are expelled from the Garden of Eden. Suddenly, they realize they are naked "so they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves" to cover their shame (Gen 3:7b).
Since the fall of our first parents, and when we have experienced shame, we have sewn figurative leaves over our souls. Brittle leaves such as withdrawal from others, attacking of self, attacking of others and avoidance. In the fever of such times we are, as were Adam and Eve, frail, exposed and limited. That is when we most need to be clothed in God's grace. That is when we most need God's response to the first Adam, which was to send a second Adam, the risen Christ, to restore us to grace and peace. In the presence of the risen Christ we discover that where before there was sin, grace is now all the more.
It is probable that all of us have suffered from shame. For many of us, there is only a thin skin that covers our shame. At the slightest agitation to our psyche, low self-esteem or even depression can surface and spread like a blush. We can have shame over the way we were introduced to sexuality, or over our sexuality itself. We can experience shame over our appearance - how much we weigh, our height, or other body features. We can have shame because of a lack of intelligence or lack of skill that is expected in our work. Many people experience shame over ethnicity or race. Teenagers are often embarrassed or feel shame over their parents' behavior or lack of social standing.
Some people live with shame because of lack of social status based on income, education or profession. Shame is seldom a scarlet letter one wears for all to see. It is mostly hidden and often a secret. When we hide our shame we hand our souls over to the evil one. When a large number of people hide shame, evil can emerge in society in acceptable ways, such as the greed we see in Hollywood producers who make money from children's films that are laced with violence and sex. We need to do something about this problem, and can - by learning how to turn our own shame into grace.
To turn shame into grace we must first realize we cannot do this alone. Grace is a gift from God. Only God can turn shame into grace. But we can make ourselves ready to receive the healing balm of grace. We can be prepared.
The following are six ways to be prepared so that God may turn our shame into grace:
1. Realize the Difference between Good Shame and False Shame.
Some shame is good and even healthy when it calls us to turn once again to Jesus who is the source of forgiveness, grace and salvation. Healthy shame lets us know when we are separated from God. Healthy shame can nag us to do something to reorder negative thoughts and behavior. Healthy shame reminds us we are beloved children of God, made in the image and likeness of God. And, as the Marriage Encounter movement insists, "God does not create junk!"False shame surfaces within us when we feel disgust for ourselves and when we dwell in self-hatred. We can find sweetness in self-pity and self-loathing. But this sweetness can quickly sour to disgrace (dis-grace). Despair often follows, which is a total denial of God's goodness, forgiveness, justice and mercy.
2. Name the Shame.
The greatest power evil has over us is to remain hidden. In this regard, imagine a flat rock in a field. If we lift the rock, it is likely we will find creepy, crawling bugs hiding from daylight. Shame hides like those bugs in the dark places within us. But what happens when the rock in the field is turned over? The creepy, crawling bugs no longer have a place to hide. And so they scatter until they find another dark place. To turn shame into grace is to expose our secret to the light of Christ so that he may heal us.There are many ways to expose shame. One way is to go to a priest and receive the sacrament of reconciliation. If you have a hidden and secret shame, I recommend you find a priest with whom you feel comfortable. Make an appointment with him. Tell him your secret shame and how it has affected your life. Ask for God's absolution of your sin. And be confident that you are truly forgiven.
Like the rock in the field, sometimes it has to be turned over and over again to prevent evil from finding a home. While God's forgiveness and mercy is always complete it does not always feel complete in us. Thus, we may need to expose our shame often to the bright light of Christ until our healing is complete.
3. Use the Spiritual Chemotherapy of Prayer.
Shame is like a cancer on our soul, a cancer we cannot always heal through psychotherapy or self-help attitudes and behaviors. The reason for this is that the cancer virus of shame began with Adam's disobedience to God. And because only God can forgive disobedience to God, we must return to God for healing. While psychotherapy can help greatly to deal with shame, at its root, shame is a spiritual problem. Thus, we need to return to Divine Physician. Take the chemotherapy of prayer to help kill the cancer of shame. Prayer works slowly and gradually to heal us. A dosage of twenty minutes, twice a day, should be enough.4. Recall Bible Quotes on Shame.
The word, "shame," is mentioned 136 times in the Bible. Find one or two verses that touch you and give you strength to face your shame. Then memorize them and recall them whenever you feel shame. Here is one I particularly like:"The Lord God is my help, therefore I am not disgraced;
I have set my face like flint, knowing that I shall not be put to shame." (Isaiah 50: 7)5. Attend Daily Mass.
If shame or disgrace currently troubles you, attending daily Mass is like going to the clinic of the top specialist for a particular ailment. Dr. Jesus specializes in healing shame. One of his best remedies is his real presence found in the form of consecrated bread and wine in the Eucharist. As we receive the body and blood of Christ, shame is transformed into grace. Jesus gave his body and blood so that we might be forgiven. Nothing takes away our shame more than to know, to really know, we are forgiven.6. Be Humble.
Finally, be humble about yourself. You are not perfect. Only God is perfect. You are not a bad person because of the sins of your past. Once you have received God's forgiveness, accept that you are truly forgiven. Accept that each moment is a new beginning.
Some people believe their past sins are too great for God to forgive. This is often happens with women who have had abortions and later wake up to the reality of what they have done. They receive the sacrament of reconciliation but still believe they are not forgiven. This is a form of false pride, which is the belief that my sin is greater than God's capacity to forgive. Of course, no one is greater than God. And there is no sin God cannot forgive. Admit your sins to God and be humble enough to accept God's mercy and forgiveness. God wants you to be forgiven and free of shame.
These are six ways to turn shame into grace. Do they really work? Yes, they really do! Try them starting today. And when, after a moment of feeling shame, you experience God's Grace, you will know you're on the road to recovery.
This and other articles by Fr. Bob appear in the internet magazine www.e3mil.com a catholic web portal. Feel free to pass it on to your friends.
Like the old Russian farmer we may never know if a situation is good or bad, it is just important that we play our part!
New Speakers Add Spiritual Depth to SacraMentums
The SacraMentors Council met in September to a full agenda of topics. One thing they were concerned about was the amount of time and energy was being spent on sessions with limited turn out (only between 15-20 people were attending the SacraMentums each time).
During the discussion it was determined that the SacraMentum was a very valuable and worthwhile way to get men and now women SacraMentors together from the various parishes. Not only was there value in simply getting the groups together, but the information shared was very enlightening as well.
After discerning that we needed to keep the SacraMentums, the Council then set about to find a way to make them more meaningful to their fellow SacraMentors and increase attendance. As one member stated, "It was like a blinding glimpse of the obvious when one member of our Council said, `we should get well known Catholic speakers to conduct the SacraMentums and also let our members invite their friends and non-SacraMentors to attend"'.
This suggestion was immediately adopted and the Council, along with Fr. Bob Camuso, set out recruiting three excellent, respected Catholic speakers to conduct the three SacraMentums coming up in this years series. Listed below are the three speakers who have accepted the opportunity to share their faith and the Lord with us. They will speak on the dates, locations and times listed below their names. Your are invited to attend and bring anyone you want with you. They need not be SacraMentors. Meeting locations within each parish may change so look for meeting signs upon arrival.
What the Bible Teaches About Blessing
By Fr. Jim Eblen
Thursday November 16, 2000
St. Thomas More Parish
7:30 - 9:30PM
6511 176th SW Lynnwood, WA
Grudges, Forgiveness and Grace
By Bishop George Thomas, D.D.,Ph. D.
Thursday February 22, 2001
St. James Cathedral Parish,
7:30 - 9:30 PM
804 9th Avenue Seattle, WA
True Self - False Self
By Fran Ferder, FSPA, Ph. D.
Thursday April 19, 2001
St. Vincent de Paul Parish,
7:30 - 9:30 PM
30525 8th Avenue S. Federal Way, WA
SacraMentors can't work, so states Bruno Ienni, a fellow SacraMentor who has recently moved from Olympia to Albuquerque, NM. His reasons are listed below.
"SacraMentors can't work for the following reasons:
Some of the participants are older, a few are younger. Some are short, some are tall. Some are heavy and some are thin. Some share in a very quiet voice, some you can hear at the church down the street. Some read tons of books, some barely open the Bible. Some like to laugh, some like to cry. Some barely got out of high school, some have completed graduate degrees. Some of them have lots of money, others just get by from week to week. Some come to the Apostle Group session every week, some only once in a while. All of them really tick me off because everything they say doesn't agree with everything I think and say.
Wait a minute, SacraMentors CAN work!
SacraMentors works not in spite of these differences; but because of them. When I can put aside my ego, then I see my brothers and sisters as joined with me in Christ's embrace under a halo of God's love. All the differences melt away and in spite of the latest craze in game shows I wouldn't give up one of these people for a million bucks.
Sorry Regis.
WANTED $50,000
IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS YOU WILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO ANSWER THIS REQUEST AND HELP FUND A MUCH NEEDED BUDGET.
A MAILING WILL BE COMING YOUR WAY TO FINANCIALLY SUPPORT SACRAMENTORS
SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THE GOAL OF EXPANDING THE PROGRAM BOTH WITHIN AND OUTSIDE OUR DIOCESE.
BOOK REVIEW
Have you read a good book lately? Would you like to share it with your brothers? Here's your chance. Write a review not to exceed 300 words and send it to Carl Jones c/o SacraMentors, 816 Sumner Avenue, Sumner, WA 98390.
Intimacy with God by: Thomas Keating
REVIEW by: Dawn Moore
In our February 2000 newsletter, Bruno lenni wrote an article on "Receiving the Holy Spirit through Centering Prayer". One of his recommendations was, books by Thomas Keating. I have read several of his books.
Intimacy with God is a wonderful beginners guide on centering prayer. Keating's modern teaching techniques offers advice on how we can deepen our relationship with God through prayer and meditation. In chapter eight he talks of the emotional wounds one may have experienced in early childhood, and the false self. He explains that the false self is a disease that can be healed through what he calls "divine therapy". He offers a diagram of the "four moments of centering prayer". Centering prayer brings a feeling of deep rest. As a result of the deep rest of body, mind and spirit, we can start to unload all that emotion.
Our trust in God deepens and our emotional doubts of self-worth impressed upon us in early childhood begins to relax. We will then find that we are more open to be an instrument of Gods love and to show kindness and compassion to others.
The purpose of this book is to help you to turn inward and find the trust, love and rest in God. Thomas Keating's simple teaching is an easy way to deal with past situations we have experienced in our life. Anyone looking to deepen their relationship with God and for inner peace, will find this book to be a great guide for spiritual journey.
Some other books by Thomas Keating,
Open Mind, Open Heart;
Active Meditations for Contemplative Prayer;
Awakenings;
The Better Part and; Invitation to Love.
Dawn Moore is a sister SacraMentor who worships at Our Lady Queen of Heaven parish in Parkland.
Jubilee
This is the Catholic Church's year of Jubilee.
Do we really know what Jubilee means? Are we doing all that we can to make Jubilee a meaningful experience for ourselves and our loved ones? Have we taken the message of Jubilee to heart and changed our heart?
If you haven't yet, don't worry there is still time. Good places to start your search are:
www.seattlearch.org or www.vatican.va
May God's joy be with you in your search.
More Men and Women SacraMentors Become Trainers
The SacraMentor Training Council has just completed its first training program for the 2000-2001 training year. The trainers who have completed the training will be incorporated into existing training teams in the Sumner and Seattle areas.
Jim Ferris, and Dan Staab the co chairs of the Training Council both said, "this group of trainers might have been small, but they are just as committed to the success of SacraMentors as the trainers who came before them".
The men who have completed the training are as follows:
Frank Frey,
All Saints Parish in Puyallup,
Don O'Connor,
St. Monica Parish, Mercer Island
Frank Pease,
St. Louise Parish in Bellevue,
Marion Slawiatynsky,
St. Brendan Parish in Bothell
The women SacraMentors attending the training as a review were:
Dawn Moore,
Our Lady Queen of Heaven Parish in Spanaway,
Marion Sodden,
Holy Spirit Parish in Kent.
We are honored to have these new members of our training teams on board and look forward to having them actively participating in the program.
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